BREAKING NEWS: Central NJ Mountain Range Adds a Small Hill
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The mysterious mountain range that appeared in central NJ north of Princeton increased today by one small hill. To add to the strange nature of this geological anomaly, the hill is already populated with pricey homes with names like Socks That Rock, Lisa Souza, and Spunky Eclectic. A small elephant was seen attempting to scale the heights.
A middle-aged red-haired woman, who goes by her Chippewa name She Who Needs To Get Back To Work, was found unconscious at the base of the hill, clutching a half-finished Step sock and a badly curled Addi Turbo size 0US.
So far nobody has come forward to identify her. Police are asking for your help. If you know the identity of the anonymous knitter, please contact Knitters Anonymous. Your identity will be protected.
Photograph supplied by NASA.