What I've Been Knitting

I promise not to make any more blog promises. I promise not to promise to be a more faithful regular blogger. I promise not to promise "pictures later." I promise not to promise that I'm going to suddenly turn into an organized, orderly, normal human being who keeps regular human hours, meets all her deadlines with time to spare, and always knows what's lurking right around the corner.

I also promise not to mention 1) politics and 2) the economy because quite frankly I'm sick of both subjects. Sometimes I look around and can't quite believe any of this is going on.

Which is the last mention of it you'll get from me.

There's an emotional component to knitting that I've been thinking about these last few years. Something deep, almost visceral, that I don't feel when I'm embroidering or needlepointing or sewing but feel in my bones when I pick up knitting needles or a crochet hook. A connectedness, for want of a better word, that so far has defied my attempts to explain it. Or even understand it for that matter. It's just there. Knitting makes me happy. It makes me feel more centered. It makes me feel part of something indefinable but incredibly important. I know that you know what I'm trying to say and if you can say it better or differently please please leave a note in comments because one way or another I'm going to figure this out.

There's been lots of knitting going on Chez Crazy the last few weeks. I'm on the second Vintage Velvet. I'm 2/3 of the way through a pair of plain vanilla white socks in Comfort for Goldisox. The Log Cabin blanket is looking beautiful. I've completed two complete EZ Garter Stitch blankets in Cascade Ecological. Now the plan is two complete two more and sew them all up into one eNORmous 80 pound blanket. The WAVY scarf in Noro Silk Garden is at the halfway point. I'm planning to start two shawls for holiday gifts for two very special friends. (Simple shawls. This is me you're talking to: the woman who is scared to death of lace.) And I'm determined to knit myself a sweater or know the reason why.

And did I tell you that I poured an entire Egg Cream into my HP laster printer Friday afternoon? You can read the sad story here. I don't have the heart to retype it for you. It's too embarrassing. No grown woman should ever have to up-end a printer then race it across the family room, across the kitchen, and into the dish drainer. No grown woman should have to drag the wet vac up from the basement and spend two hours sucking chocolate milk out of the carpet.

There's a better story here. It's all about the Good Old Days of writing romance at Harlequin American, back when I was a girl of 32 and waiting for my first book to come out. That was during my needlepoint period. I'll never be able to think about the experience of writing and selling and publishing my first book without thinking about the many, many needlepoint projects that I worked on during that time. For awhile I made sure there was a needlepoint/needlework reference in every book I wrote. Don't laugh. I always wondered about characters in novels and why so few of them had hobbies. What's life without a great hobby to give it focus?

Back to work for me.

Mary: reader, knitter, and friend

My wonderful friend Mary Preisinger died a few weeks ago, just a month short of her ninety-first birthday and my world is definitely poorer for it.

Mary was my very first not-related-to-me reader. She sent me my very first fan letter back in March 1983. (You'll have to excuse the number of times I use the word "first" in this post but there's no way around it. It was a time of firsts for me.)

Let me set the stage. LOVE CHANGES was one of the launch books for Harlequin American and had come out in Reader Service but was still a few weeks from hitting the book stores. I was published . . . but not really. Somewhere out there I hoped people were reading me but if they were they were being very quiet about it.

We were living in North Babylon on Long Island at the time and every morning I would drop my husband off at the LIRR station in Babylon then stop by the post office at Sunset City (a strip mall on Deer Park Avenue with, among other delights, a video store and the wonderful Italian Food World) and check my PO box for mail. I don't really know what I was expecting but I was a brand new author and hope truly springs eternal. So can you imagine my absolute shock when I unlocked the box that morning in late March of '83 and found one small letter waiting for me!

It was from Mary Preisinger who was living in West Islip at the time, written in bright green ink, and her words made me cry. "I loved your book," she wrote. "Reading it took me back to the time when my husband was still alive and we would drive out to Montauk and walk the beach. Thank you for giving me back those memories."

I'm telling you winning the Pulitzer Prize (For romance? Not likely!) or hitting the New York Times could not have made me happier than that one small letter did. My words had touched a stranger's heart! It was the most amazing, wonderful, powerful, exhilarating experience of my life.

Now here's where it gets a wee bit weird. I turned into a stalker. Not in a bad way (don't all stalkers say that?) but West Islip was just one town over and I was really, really thrilled about my fan letter so I ran home, looked Mary's phone number up in the directory and called her. I know I should be embarrassed but I'm not. I didn't know a thing about author etiquette back then. I definitely didn't have a clue about how to be cool. I just did what my heart told me to do and thank God! That impulsive phone call resulted in a twenty-five year friendship that enriched my life in ways I can't begin to count. She knitted some gorgeous afghans for me. I fumbled my way through shawls and lap robes for her.

Mary and I talked like old friends. She invited me to visit her one day for lunch and I did. Over the years we shared books and laughter, secrets and tears. I moved to central NJ. She moved to Salem, Massachusetts, then back to Long Island and then finally to Ohio. But we never lost touch. Not for a minute.

I'm sitting here by the front window, watching the rain. I have a cup of tea on the table next to me and Mary's pale celery green, soft yellow, and ivory afghan draped across my shoulders like a hug. She's there in every stitch and always will be.